Wag the Dog

So I am in my favorite coffee house in Madison where I do not have a name other than "molto sugar-free vanilla breve lady."  It was a sunny Sunday morning.  Jazz music was playing in the background, the place swelling with people.  Groups of nameless regulars, families and random loners.  Unshaven and coiffed, high-heeled and Birkenstocked, pierced and preppy.  Fantastic day for people watching.  But wait!  There are more than just people to watch in the coffee house.  Now there are dogs. Dogs!  Little dogs but dogs none the less.  Their owners were the outdoorsy types.  Maybe just in from a run or something.  Four adults sitting around the fireplace with two little white canines in tow.  So I thought to myself  "what is this, Europe?"  Since when do we pet owners get to have brunch with our pooches in a place of  food service?  Maybe in New York or France but not Madison, Wisconsin. A city that prides itself on not being too sophisticated or too fashionable.  A place where most people still have a good parka and a casual parka in their closets for the cold weather months.

  I wanna go outside where I belong!

To add insult to injury I read recently that many New York restaurateurs have reported a jump in the number of diners that want to bring their dogs inside for "emotional support."  You read it right.  Like seeing eye dogs these are emotional support dogs.  Some actually have doctor's letters requesting that these people be allowed to bring their "emotional service dogs" into restaurants and even airplanes, offices and health spas.  In 2003, the Department of Transportation clarified policies that allow people with depression and anxiety to be given the same privileges as blind or deaf people who need animals.  Outrageous.  Talk about abusing guidelines.  I am pretty sure that the reason these dogs were having coffee with their owners had little to do with emotional support and more to do with a sense of entitlement or ignorance.  The manager told me later that she could lose her license if dogs were in there.  Of course the owners never asked if it was okay.  They just assumed so.

  Do you like my hat?  I do not like your hat!

 

Being a little sad myself lately I started to think about all of the places I could take my dogs when I might be in need of some "emotional support."  This is just a short list of places I came up with.

1.  At the doctor's office when getting weighed.

2.  At Parent-teacher conferences.

3.  When crossing Monroe Street without a flag. 

4.  At my Pilates class and gym after neglecting exercise for awhile

5.  In the gym's locker room while showering with others

6.  Returning merchandise without a receipt (limitless locations for this).

7.  Confronting owner of car whose rear-view mirror I have just sheared  off with my car.  (3rd one this year).

8.  Before boarding a plane.

I could go on but you get the point.  Next it will be horses and goats.  You watch.  It will happen.  

A Bigger Bang to the Head

 Keith Richards, rocker since the beginning of time... 

I have written about the Rolling Stones and their icon status before.  I think they are one of the greatest bands of all times.  They defined an era and continue to rock those of us who still appreciate them.  I am a little worried though based on events of late.  Could Keith Richards, the co-glimmer twin along with childhood friend and alter ego Mick Jagger be heading for a permanent fall?  Could the hedonist rocker who was quoted as saying "Cold turkey is not so bad                                          

 

after you've done it 10 or 12 times" taken his last bang to the head? 

Richards fell from a tree in Figi and had been under medical observation since the tumble in late April.  Surgery was performed to relieve pressure from a blod clot on his brain.  His family says he is up and talking.  No one can understand a word he says...just like before the fall...so they are pleased with his progress.

  "Before they make me run..."

He's acknowledged as possibly one of the greatest rhythm guitarists in rock & roll but is even more well known for his excesses of the rock lifestyle.  His massive consumption of drugs and alcohol could have wiped out The Fixx, Led Zepplin, ELO, Jefferson Airplane, the Kinks, Bad Company, INXS and 10 other bands combined.  He can't let something like a little fall on his noggin' be his demise.

If his claim is true that he wrote (I Can't Get No) "Satisfaction" while sleeping, maybe the use of his head won't be as big a deal as I think.  Maybe he will write his best material to date.

Let's hope so.