Wag the Dog

So I am in my favorite coffee house in Madison where I do not have a name other than "molto sugar-free vanilla breve lady."  It was a sunny Sunday morning.  Jazz music was playing in the background, the place swelling with people.  Groups of nameless regulars, families and random loners.  Unshaven and coiffed, high-heeled and Birkenstocked, pierced and preppy.  Fantastic day for people watching.  But wait!  There are more than just people to watch in the coffee house.  Now there are dogs. Dogs!  Little dogs but dogs none the less.  Their owners were the outdoorsy types.  Maybe just in from a run or something.  Four adults sitting around the fireplace with two little white canines in tow.  So I thought to myself  "what is this, Europe?"  Since when do we pet owners get to have brunch with our pooches in a place of  food service?  Maybe in New York or France but not Madison, Wisconsin. A city that prides itself on not being too sophisticated or too fashionable.  A place where most people still have a good parka and a casual parka in their closets for the cold weather months.

  I wanna go outside where I belong!

To add insult to injury I read recently that many New York restaurateurs have reported a jump in the number of diners that want to bring their dogs inside for "emotional support."  You read it right.  Like seeing eye dogs these are emotional support dogs.  Some actually have doctor's letters requesting that these people be allowed to bring their "emotional service dogs" into restaurants and even airplanes, offices and health spas.  In 2003, the Department of Transportation clarified policies that allow people with depression and anxiety to be given the same privileges as blind or deaf people who need animals.  Outrageous.  Talk about abusing guidelines.  I am pretty sure that the reason these dogs were having coffee with their owners had little to do with emotional support and more to do with a sense of entitlement or ignorance.  The manager told me later that she could lose her license if dogs were in there.  Of course the owners never asked if it was okay.  They just assumed so.

  Do you like my hat?  I do not like your hat!

 

Being a little sad myself lately I started to think about all of the places I could take my dogs when I might be in need of some "emotional support."  This is just a short list of places I came up with.

1.  At the doctor's office when getting weighed.

2.  At Parent-teacher conferences.

3.  When crossing Monroe Street without a flag. 

4.  At my Pilates class and gym after neglecting exercise for awhile

5.  In the gym's locker room while showering with others

6.  Returning merchandise without a receipt (limitless locations for this).

7.  Confronting owner of car whose rear-view mirror I have just sheared  off with my car.  (3rd one this year).

8.  Before boarding a plane.

I could go on but you get the point.  Next it will be horses and goats.  You watch.  It will happen.