As I stood in line at the theatre with friends last night to hopefully see the later showing of Brokeback Mountain, (since the earlier time we went to see had been long since sold out) the question was being asked by people behind us in line; When is this movie going to be shown in the big theatres and on more than one screen? People had driven all the way from Columbus to see forbidden love and had to leave unfulfilled. They either were eager to watch man sex, wanted to see what all the buzz was about or they love director Ang Lee and wouldn't miss anything he has put his name on. Hold your horses. They could be like us and had gone because of all the above. This movie is projected to bring in over 100 million by March and some markets won't even show it! A bucket of popcorn and two hours and fifteen minutes later we left the theatre, our interpretations pouring out of our mouths while alternately stuffing those same mouths with unsalted chips and strong Margaritas. Si!
President Bush, a manly man and rancher himself, was asked last week by a supporter at Kansas State U what he thought of the movie. Totally confident in his own sexuality he responded, "I haven't seen it, I'd be glad to talk about ranching, but I haven't seen the movie." ( I picture him grabbing himself at this point). The audience laughed before he added, "I've heard about it." He no doubt secretly owns a "gay cowboy saddle," complete with hair-dryer holster. Well done W, well done. I wish we knew how to quit you...
It's just not natural...
Not that all of the Brokeback jokes will hurt the Oscar chances for this film when there are so many other worthy cinematic contenders. Have you heard any good Munich jokes lately? Did you hear the one about Capote? Walk the Line? Not so much.
How about this one...from San Antonio TV anchor Chris Marrou: "Why didn't they just give one of those guys from Brokeback Mountain best actress?". Don't think that guy went unpunished...Hey Chris, the boss wants to see you...Pronto like!
Clearly, one thing we collectively came up with was how this movie has been fodder for Late Night Comedians citing the "I wish I knew how to quit you" as the phrase most likely to be the new "Show Me the Money". At any rate, I could not resist putting David Letterman's Top Ten List up for signs you might be a gay cowboy. To my gay friends, John Wayne, Kenny Chesney and the cowboy from the Village People, I apologize. You know me and my heart. I am just going for a laugh here...
Ten Top Signs You Are A Gay Cowboy
10. Your saddle is Versace
9. Instead of Home on the Range, you sing It's Raining Men.
8. You enjoy ridin', ropin' and redecoratin'.
7. Sold your livestock to buy tickets to Mama Mia!
6. After watching reruns of Gunsmoke, you have to take a cold shower.
5. Native Americans refer to you as Dances With Men.
4. You've been lassoed more times than most steers.
3. You're wearing chaps, yet your "ranch" is in Chelsea.
2. Instead of a saloon, you prefer a salon.
1. You love riding, but you don't have a horse.
Stay tuned for next time when we see the movie Thank You For Smoking...it looks (cough-cough) great!
Click here: Moviefone: Independent Film Guide: Brokeback Mountain
and for giggles check out this link:
Click here: YouTube - Brokeback to the Future
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